why do greek gods have to fuck up so much shit god damn just stay on your mountain and eat your fucking ambrosia and leave people alone
and stop having sex with things you are not supposed to have sex with
we’re all looking at you here zeus
Too bad Zeus didn’t think to invent condoms. Shoulda asked the Trojans.
i went to a party and put 3 whole loaves of sliced bread all around the house i put bread under the kid’s pillow and in all 3 of his bathrooms, in his rugby shorts and the breast pocket of his school shirt, on his roof and his neighbor’s roof, in his couch and on his tv i’m laughing so hard he’s going to wake up hungover tomorrow and be like why the fuck is there bread everywhere
i’m pissing myself
cellphones have two brightness settings: “dim” and “the messiah is back”
this frickin tag omg